Sunday, December 7, 2008

More Rules

Rule 51: Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, and Repeat MIGHT get the smell of Dreadnok off you.... MIGHT
Rule 52: When in Doubt about a Rule, See Rule #3
Rule 53: Some missions suck, no matter what you do. Just move on.
Rule 54: When you have to drop in on someone, HALO gets you there with a rush
Rule 55: NEVER, I can not Stress this enough, NEVER Leave your own weapons behind when you infiltrate an enemy facility. Just disguise yours to look right.
Rule 56: Action Film Physics, while nice, do not work in the real world.
Rule 57: The drink of choice, is Yo-Joe Cola
Rule 58: Cold Slither is NOT a good Band.
Rule 59: Dating a Ninja can lead to lonely nights.
Rule 60: Dating a Soldier WILL lead to Lonely Nights.

More coming soon. I hope

I hate Cobra

Yes, that's right. I hate them. First, I scout them, than I sneak around their base, and find all their security loopholes, and what do they do? They Drop a mountain (in the guise of a man named Road Pig) on me, and shatter my shoulder? Is that fair??

Friday, October 17, 2008


Yes, I've been gone awhile. No, I won't tell you where. Classified, of course.

Now, just when I get back, I get to volunteer to lead a mission, and let me just say: Thanks a lot Flint!

As soon as I get back, maybe I'll make some more rules for ya.

More Rules to Live By

More Rules for the Joes:

41: If Flint starts contemplating a Mission, Volunteer, before he volunteers you.
42: If Duke is not in the PIT, and you hear a Radio message asking for Volunteers, answer it. Duke throws the best Jungle Parties.
43: Ace won't take sucker bets.
44: If you think Cobra is around, turn down your iPod.
45: If you don't think Cobra is around, turn down your iPod.
46: Just turn the damned iPod down!
47: DVR's can record your favorite Television Shows when you are on a mission.
48: Missing a Television Show is not a reason to stay behind on a mission.
49: When Shipwreck gets out of the water, follow. Something nasty is coming up from the depths.
50: Never play with Fire when Barbeque is around... Wet clothing and funny smells will only follow.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Here I was, all ready to go on Vacation... a few days of sun, sand, and crystal blue water. Something I have had in at least 5 years. I was packed, the plane was chartered, and I had even convinced Snake-Eyes... 5 days in the Islands...

Of course, the LAST time Snake-Eyes and I tried to vacation together, we ended up faking our death, and rescuing our friends... so I should have known better. I really should of. JUST as we were leaving, that idiotic agent, Snapdragon comes up to me, and gives me an Intelligence report that I pretty much HAVE to look into. Sure, she's not one of ours. Sure, she worked for the Enemy up until a month ago, but dammit, she had Hotel Sierra Information that requires SOMEONE look into it, and since she brought it to me, I guess I get volunteered. Another set of Leave days gone...

Monday, May 12, 2008

More Joe Rules

Shana here, back with more Rules to live by Joes.

31: Love your Doctor.
32: Always Listen to your Medic
33: Never allow the Mission's only medic to get hurt
34: Your Doctor is always right... if in doubt, consult Rule 3.
35: Never Crush on Snake-Eyes' Girlfriend. He gets mean.
36: The Medic is your friend.
37: Even if the Medic doesn't like you, he is your friend.
38: The Medic is *THE MOST IMPORTANT* person on any Mission
39: A Medic is like an older sister... Always on your case about something, but you still have to love them.
40: NEVER, Ever, shoot a Cobra Medic... unless he is offering to fix your wounds... especially a broken leg, with no morphine!

Yes, you might have noticed a theme... I've spent alot of time in Medical lately, and thought I'd throw them some love... And before you ask, #35 is to keep you OUT of Medical... when Snake-Eyes gets mean, he normally hurts someone...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Unofficial Joe Rules Part 3

More Rules to Live By:

21: Never fight a Robot without Backup
22: If Cobra blames a Joe for something, it will be Snake-Eyes, 99.9999% of the time.
23: Remeber, Nothing In life is certain but Death and Taxes, and even Death has been known to make mistakes.
24: Rank is nice.... but the respect of your team mates means more than all the stars on your shoulder boards (Hawk is worth more than all the 5 stars ever)
25: If your team mates are running in one direction, follow, don't stop to see what is chasing them.
26: Lasers are cool, Bombs are Great, but when you really, really need to stop something in their tracks... Say it with Napalm. Or a Ninja, which ever is more available.
27: There are some jobs, even a Ninja can not do.
28: Never go off mission... without a damned good reason!
29: When Visiting your Realtives at some small town in Mid America, always bring a friend, prefferably one that can pull your butt out of the fire, when it is discovered Cobra runs the town.
30: Never Dwell on Mistakes you made last week, month, or even 20 years ago. Dwell on the Mistake you are making now, by dwelling on mistakes in the past. The past, while it sucks at time, can not hurt you near as much as the Viper Squad sneaking up on you.

More in the future.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Bell that boy!

OK, I am starting a petition to make Snake-Eyes wear a bell when ever he is on Base. He doesn't mean to, but he can sneak up on someone without thinking, and do the same thing when he leaves. Imagine, talking to him, with your back turned, and turn around to find that he left, but everyone is just smiling at you talking to yourself! Who is with me!

BTW, Snake-Eyes, you know I love you....

Unofficial Joe Rules Part 2

More rules for you newer Joes:

11: When Snake-Eyes speaks (Yes, it happened ONCE), HIDE. Something bad is about to happen to a small Country.

12: Never bring a sword to a gun fight, unless you are a ninja. (Or a Ninja in training)

13: Never bring a Gun to a sword fight, unless you are NOT a Ninja, or a ninja in training.

14: If you have to ask if you can be a ninja, chances are, you can not.

15: 4:30 AM Hand-to-Hand Combat courses are good for Discipline.

16: When invading a Terrordrom, or other Cobra Base, always know where the Ventilator shafts go. Not only might you escape, but you might see a Cobra High Command Member in the buff. (Snap pictures, so you can sell them on EBay)

17: When BATS go crazy is NOT a Reality show about Flying Mammals... it is a dangerous situation.

18: If you have to stump Sci-Fi, you are a nerd.

19: Just because someone looks dead, doesn't mean they are. Approach all bodies with caution... especially those of Ninjas.

20: If your deodorant is Deisel Fumes and Motor Oil, Do NOT look to Clutch as an idol. He's a Pig. We all know that, and we have come to accept HIM.... No one else is allowed to be him.

Look for more Later, but remember, Rule #3 can save your life. Heed it.

Destro has a New Metal Polish???

Yes, that is exactly what I said, WTF???? Why should it be so important that Destro has a new Metal Polish for his mask, that I have to come running, on my first day out of the Infirmary, to handle a 'Flash Priority One' Intelligence Report, when someone just wants to tell me that Destro has stopped using CLR, and has moved on to something called MARS Metal Cleaning Solution.

This is a matter of National Security? I always thought the Defense Intelligence Agency was a little warped... I mean, Military Intelligence.... Unless myself, or a few others are involved, it totally is an oxymoron....


And watch this Information not even be true!

Saturday, May 3, 2008

Unofficial Joe Rules Part 1

It has come into my brain lately, especially with all the new recruits, that we need to get 'The Unofficial List of the Rules for Surviving a Day in the Joe Team' out into circulation, so, what I am going to do, is start posting them to the blog here, and let people discuss them, if they wish.

Rule 1: Never Piss off Snake-Eyes when he has a Sword in his hand.
Rule 2: Ignore any and all strange noises coming from Clutch's Quarters.
Rule 3: Always listen to Shana, it'll keep you alive.
Rule 4: When Beach Head is down wind of you, feel happy, when he is upwind, you know where he is, so you can get away faster.
Rule 5: Never bet against Ace in Poker, or the Air.
Rule 6: If Airtight is running from a room, STAY OUT!
Rule 7: If Duke says jump, Try to jump to the moon.
Rule 8: If it hisses like a Cobra, looks like a Cobra or used to be a Cobra, trust it not.
Rule 9: NEVER turn down one of Roadblock's meals, or his assistance in battle. Either way you'll miss something awesome.
Rule 10: When at a loss for words, yell Yo Joe!

More rules will be forthcoming, comment on these if you like, just remember, they are the rules, and you MUST obey them.

Friday, May 2, 2008

I'm a moron

I'm such a moron at times... Here I am, worrying about others, when... I should be worrying about myself. Leave Red Spot and Sci_Fi alone, not talk to them about how they act... Instead, I should focus on the fact that I saw Snake-Eyes for the first time in a month last night. We need to take a vacation or something, together, just so we can spend time to gether and talk... or in his case 'Tap'.

Where should we go though? Maybe I'll take him home to Atlanta.... Even if my brothers are not likely to me happy to see him... And Siobhan will probably flip her lid, expect him to kill her....

Hmm... Maybe someplace else, after all.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Some people are dense

Some people, and I'm not going to mention names..... O.K., I lied, Snake-Eyes, Sci-Fi, and Kamakura (Just to name a few), REALLY need to learn that trying to leave the Infirmary, or even failing to report to the Infirmary, after an injury, is a bad idea. It is really starting to bugg me what these... supposed adults... think they can get away with.

Maybe I should recommend to Hawk that all personal, no matter the injury, are required to report to the Infirmary, and follow Doctor's orders, or be put up on charges? Maybe have their pay docked?

Ah hell, Shana, why do you bother anymore?

Sunday, April 27, 2008

All Good

Well, yet another exciting time in the skies. Thursday, or so, I was flying around New England, and damned if another Decepticon wasn't playing in our Airspace. I engaged the thing, and yet another Decepticon has run from the power of the Joint Strike Fighter. I have personally taken three down, and honestly, I am starting to wonder why they bother. Coldsnap is the latest victim, and if it comes back, I think I'll enjoy doing it again.

Either the Decepticons are not building as good of soldiers, or our technology is getting better, or, perhaps the most important, our people are getting better. I suppose it could be a combination of all three, as well.

But no matter.

I want to thank Wraith for allowing me to take her CAP (Combat Air Patrol), otherwise, she would have gotten all the fun.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Oh Wow oh Wow!

Hey ya'll. Shana here again. I actually have something to write about tonight. Would you believe that Sci-Fi was spotted going out with a GIRL? I know, amazing isn't it... Our Lovable geek might just have found someone, or so the Scuttlebutt goes. Some Greenshirts saw him cuddling with a woman, than leaving the Base with the same woman. All I can say is GO Sci-Fi!

It's about time someone saw through his persona, and saw the good guy that is inside him... now, if I can just find out who it is, all will be right with the world... well, as best they can be, what with people with different brains inside their heads... I got lucky, I guess. My brain is still in my body, or my body and brain are still together, or whatever.

Back to Sci-Fi... The woman is a pilot, supposedly, and with only a few female pilots on the team, it should narrow things down, but she was also described as a Red head... and I can only think of one, but Wraith is the Ice Queen, would she melt for Sci-Fi? I just don't see it... It would be good for both of them, but... No. Can't be here. Have to check with Mainframe, have him check the Records, and see if we got any new pilots assigned lately.... Oh wait, hell... it COULD be Wraith, now that I think about it... did anyone check to see if her body was still being run by her mind? Another thing to look into... Life is starting to suck with this mindswap crap... Someone figure out how to reverse it, and FAST!

Monday, April 7, 2008

Scarlett's First Attempt

OK, not quite sure how I let people talk me into this... but hi. I'm Shana O'Hara, some call me Scarlett.... You know who you are, Seymore!

So, a little bit about myself? I am just a southern girl, forced by my job to be other than what I appear. What is my job you ask? I am a member of the U.S. Army. So, still interested in me?

Good... I am not going to tell you anything about my job at the moment, other than to say, well, to be frank, it involves Saving Lives, and that is all that matters to me.

More later, when I figure out what a BLOG is...