Sunday, December 7, 2008

More Rules

Rule 51: Wash, Rinse, Repeat, Repeat, and Repeat MIGHT get the smell of Dreadnok off you.... MIGHT
Rule 52: When in Doubt about a Rule, See Rule #3
Rule 53: Some missions suck, no matter what you do. Just move on.
Rule 54: When you have to drop in on someone, HALO gets you there with a rush
Rule 55: NEVER, I can not Stress this enough, NEVER Leave your own weapons behind when you infiltrate an enemy facility. Just disguise yours to look right.
Rule 56: Action Film Physics, while nice, do not work in the real world.
Rule 57: The drink of choice, is Yo-Joe Cola
Rule 58: Cold Slither is NOT a good Band.
Rule 59: Dating a Ninja can lead to lonely nights.
Rule 60: Dating a Soldier WILL lead to Lonely Nights.

More coming soon. I hope

I hate Cobra

Yes, that's right. I hate them. First, I scout them, than I sneak around their base, and find all their security loopholes, and what do they do? They Drop a mountain (in the guise of a man named Road Pig) on me, and shatter my shoulder? Is that fair??

Friday, October 17, 2008


Yes, I've been gone awhile. No, I won't tell you where. Classified, of course.

Now, just when I get back, I get to volunteer to lead a mission, and let me just say: Thanks a lot Flint!

As soon as I get back, maybe I'll make some more rules for ya.

More Rules to Live By

More Rules for the Joes:

41: If Flint starts contemplating a Mission, Volunteer, before he volunteers you.
42: If Duke is not in the PIT, and you hear a Radio message asking for Volunteers, answer it. Duke throws the best Jungle Parties.
43: Ace won't take sucker bets.
44: If you think Cobra is around, turn down your iPod.
45: If you don't think Cobra is around, turn down your iPod.
46: Just turn the damned iPod down!
47: DVR's can record your favorite Television Shows when you are on a mission.
48: Missing a Television Show is not a reason to stay behind on a mission.
49: When Shipwreck gets out of the water, follow. Something nasty is coming up from the depths.
50: Never play with Fire when Barbeque is around... Wet clothing and funny smells will only follow.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008


Here I was, all ready to go on Vacation... a few days of sun, sand, and crystal blue water. Something I have had in at least 5 years. I was packed, the plane was chartered, and I had even convinced Snake-Eyes... 5 days in the Islands...

Of course, the LAST time Snake-Eyes and I tried to vacation together, we ended up faking our death, and rescuing our friends... so I should have known better. I really should of. JUST as we were leaving, that idiotic agent, Snapdragon comes up to me, and gives me an Intelligence report that I pretty much HAVE to look into. Sure, she's not one of ours. Sure, she worked for the Enemy up until a month ago, but dammit, she had Hotel Sierra Information that requires SOMEONE look into it, and since she brought it to me, I guess I get volunteered. Another set of Leave days gone...

Monday, May 12, 2008

More Joe Rules

Shana here, back with more Rules to live by Joes.

31: Love your Doctor.
32: Always Listen to your Medic
33: Never allow the Mission's only medic to get hurt
34: Your Doctor is always right... if in doubt, consult Rule 3.
35: Never Crush on Snake-Eyes' Girlfriend. He gets mean.
36: The Medic is your friend.
37: Even if the Medic doesn't like you, he is your friend.
38: The Medic is *THE MOST IMPORTANT* person on any Mission
39: A Medic is like an older sister... Always on your case about something, but you still have to love them.
40: NEVER, Ever, shoot a Cobra Medic... unless he is offering to fix your wounds... especially a broken leg, with no morphine!

Yes, you might have noticed a theme... I've spent alot of time in Medical lately, and thought I'd throw them some love... And before you ask, #35 is to keep you OUT of Medical... when Snake-Eyes gets mean, he normally hurts someone...

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Unofficial Joe Rules Part 3

More Rules to Live By:

21: Never fight a Robot without Backup
22: If Cobra blames a Joe for something, it will be Snake-Eyes, 99.9999% of the time.
23: Remeber, Nothing In life is certain but Death and Taxes, and even Death has been known to make mistakes.
24: Rank is nice.... but the respect of your team mates means more than all the stars on your shoulder boards (Hawk is worth more than all the 5 stars ever)
25: If your team mates are running in one direction, follow, don't stop to see what is chasing them.
26: Lasers are cool, Bombs are Great, but when you really, really need to stop something in their tracks... Say it with Napalm. Or a Ninja, which ever is more available.
27: There are some jobs, even a Ninja can not do.
28: Never go off mission... without a damned good reason!
29: When Visiting your Realtives at some small town in Mid America, always bring a friend, prefferably one that can pull your butt out of the fire, when it is discovered Cobra runs the town.
30: Never Dwell on Mistakes you made last week, month, or even 20 years ago. Dwell on the Mistake you are making now, by dwelling on mistakes in the past. The past, while it sucks at time, can not hurt you near as much as the Viper Squad sneaking up on you.

More in the future.